Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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