Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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