i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
