You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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