We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
