She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
