Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
