I accidentally burped into my bong.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
