haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
