you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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