I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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