I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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