Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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