I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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