Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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