They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize