I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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