i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think i peed on brittanys purse
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
