Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
