Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
