How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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