Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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