I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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