Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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