You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A bitchslap is in order.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
