Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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