I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
