it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
