Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize