Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
tell me about the eggs
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
