You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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