I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This is classic penis vs brain.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize