You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
