My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
