the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
