Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
