All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
