I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
