a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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