remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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