Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
