The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
