hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
