i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Shame - the story of my life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
