dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize