i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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