yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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