"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
