The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
