I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
