Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
