Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
