he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize