My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
