Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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