I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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