i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize