Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Boobs are out for the taking
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
