Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
