oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
