Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
