He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
