i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
