Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize