Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
