i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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