that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
