u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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