He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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