i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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